7 Lies Quilters Tell
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Lies I Tell
I must confess. I tell a lot of lies in my quilting life. The majority of these lies are things I tell myself, promises I make, deals and systems that don’t pan out, so many things! Please tell me I am not alone. Although there are probably at least 20 lies I tell myself, here are my top seven.
Lie # 1: I am not going to buy any more fabric until I use what I have!
A small portion of my fabric collection.
Have you ever told this lie? I know I have! This, in my experience, is damaging to my mental health for two reasons: one, I know it isn’t true; two, I want to buy fabric, especially when I am going somewhere special, like to a quilt show or a retreat. To me, using fabric I purchased somewhere special allows the memory of that event to live on. For example, if I make a quilt for my home and purchased the fabric at a quilt show, I will think about that. memorable experience while I make the project and even when I use the quilt going forward. It is woven (great word to use with this!) into the quilt!
Woodworkers have wood scraps; I am sure chefs have an abundance of spices; one would think painters have a ton of brushes. Why can’t quilters have a lot of fabric? It is our medium, after all. Allowing ourselves to buy fabric, especially if it comes from special places like quilt shows or other events, helps make the project we are making special. Besides, with all the new lines of fabric coming out what seems like daily—how can we resist?
Why This Lie is Toxic:
When we do buy fabric while having this “rule” in place, we feel guilty. We think, “I have so much fabric at home!” or “What was I thinking?” It also doesn’t allow us to experience new lines of fabric and enjoy a new palette. We feel down on ourselves, deprived, and worst of all, guilty.
Solutions to Try:
Set Limits: Instead of giving ourselves an all-or-nothing ultimatum, consider setting limits such as a budget. Set a specific amount you want to spend in a specific time period. For example, I have $50 to spend this month on fabric.
Plan: Have a project in mind while shopping. It is easy to just buy whatever you want because it is pretty. We have all done it. A better rule if you know you are vulnerable to this, is to have a project (or projects) in mind when shopping.
Forgive Yourself: If you slip up, it is okay! Forgive and move on.
Lie # 2: I am going to make everyone a quilt for the holidays this year!
This used to happen to me a lot. Around September or October I would get the crazy idea that I would make everyone on my list—sometimes upwards of 10 or 15 people—a quilt. What? That’s a huge commitment! At that time, I don’t think I could have made that many in an entire year! I can’t say that I am perfect at this now, but I have learned some tricks to help with this.
Why This Lie is Toxic:
I would get started. Then life would happen, I couldn’t finish and I would feel like I had failed. Not only did I feel like a failure, I also added unnecessary stress to an already stressful time of year.
Solutions to Try:
Make smaller projects for everyone. Maybe a table topper, a zipper pouch, a tote bag, or coasters. These are much more manageable, can be made in a weekend, and it allows you to make a handmade item for the special people in your life.
Start Early: If you really want to make a quilt, start early. Heck, even start in January! This will help with the holiday sewing rush we often experience.
Give a Voucher: Instead of a quilt, give a voucher as a gift—a promise to make a quilt for the recipient. This way, they could even tell you the colors they would like the quilt made in, what their style is, and possibly even pick the pattern (Warning: You may not what them to do this! They could pick an extreme complicated quilt pattern!)
Lie # 3: I am saving all my scraps to make scrap quilts!
My secret scrap draw. Don’t tell anyone!
Me? Saving too many scraps? Guilty! Although I do make a lot of scrap quilts, I still save far too many scraps, which can clutter your sewing space. We save them for so many reasons. We just can’t bring ourselves to get rid of them. The fabric was expensive. We should not waste things. The landfill is overflowing. Should I go on?
Why This Lie is Toxic:
Making promises like this can be damaging. Next thing you know your scrap pile is out of control and mocking you, saying things like, “Why did you save me?” When are going to make something out of me? And more. Who needs that kind of negativity in your life? This makes us feel bad, adds extra stress, makes us feel unproductive, all of those negative feelings!
Solutions to Try:
Allow yourself to keep scraps you love. If you don’t love them, get them out of your space (see #3 for ideas).
Have a limited storage space and stick to it. When that container, area, whatever is at capacity, clean it out.
If you don’t love the scrap anymore, pass them along to another people, use it as stuffing for a pet bed or pillow, or donate it. Whatever you decide, get it out of your space.
Lie # 4: I will make one block each day for three months and have a quilt at the end of it and other promises.
My Pumpkin Kisses project that won’t be done by October. :)
Oh, I can so relate to this one! I recently did this with a pumpkin quilt I was making. I had the perfect plan: I started in July. I would make a pumpkin block a day. There are 106 pumpkins. Slow and steady wins the race, right? What could possibly go wrong? HA! I fell behind, first by seven days, then by 14 days, then by 21 day—I was getting deeper and deeper into the hole! What now? Give up? Abandon the project?
Why This Lie is Toxic:
I felt discouraged and defeated that I wasn’t staying on track and was concerned I was going to miss my deadline—a deadline that is self-imposed and, well, silly, if you really think about it. These icky feelings should not have a place in this wonderful craft of quilting.
Solutions to Try:
Change Your Plan! You can change it. Adjust the deadline. It is okay! It is your hobby. You get to make the decisions.
Work on it when you want to work on it and enjoy the process.
Reevaluate and try again.
Abandon the project until you are motivated to do it again. It is also okay to abandon the project completely, but that’s a different topic for another day. :)
Lie # 5: I will keep my sewing room clean and organized!
Messy, Messy, Messy! Again, please don’t tell anyone!
Let’s face it: Quilting is messy. We have cutting and pressing and more cutting and sewing and threads and fabrics and everything else that is in our spaces, I am currently attempting to remodel my space. Here is the before video.
Why This Lie is Toxic:
The reason this is damaging is because it makes us, again, feel guilty. Are you noticing a theme here? There shouldn’t be guilt in quilting, but there is, unfortunately. There's also a level of embarrassment, as well, especially if others can see our space when it is messy. Lastly, we do need to have a somewhat organized space to be able to work, but does it have to be completely clean all the time? I don’t think so.
Solutions to Try:
Forgive yourself. This is the biggest hurtle to overcome sometimes, isn’t it? It will do wonders.
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, tidy or messy. You can have it semi-clean. That’s okay!
Know how you work and have a plan to tidy up each day at some point. For me, I like to clean my space before I start sewing. I set the timer for 15 minutes and start cleaning. It is amazing how much you can get done in 15 minutes! This inspires me to sew. Even though this works for me, it may not work for you. You may do better taking sewing breaks and straightening up your space or you may like cleaning up at the end of a project. Try different things until you find the one that works for you.
Lie # 6: I will finish one project before starting another.
One question: why is this a thing? Why are we pressured to do this? Why can’t we have more than one quilt going at the same time?
Why This Lie is Toxic:
We have guilt when we do start another project without finishing the first and we have fear we will abandon the first project. There is money, time, and energy often invested. Is that all wasted? Short answer: No.
Solutions to Try:
Allow Yourself to start another project if you want to. This is your hobby! You can do what you want! Don’t let those voices in your head tell you not to start another project. It is okay.
Sometimes it is about the process. IF you want to completely abandon a project, that’s okay! You don’t have to finish it just because you started it!
Sewing and Quilting should be FUN! Period. Take this lie out of your quilting life and enjoy the art of quilting.
Lie # 7: I am going to stick to my plan after I decide on a layout.
This lie comes from my friend, Joe, and at first, I didn’t think this was something I struggled with. However, after making the One Layer Cake Quilt, I realized I do do this, too. I will rearrange and change my mind on layouts before I start sewing. This can go on for hours, days, or even weeks.
Why This Lie is Toxic:
It derails our creativity and makes the process much more stressful than it needs to be. It can lead to frustration, too.
Solutions to Try:
Allow yourself to change your mind. If fact, EXPECT to change your mind. Know it is all part of the process.
Sometimes the new layout is better!
God created the seam ripper for a reason! You can always unsew a project.
Can you relate to any of these? What lies, if any, do YOU tell yourself? Let me know in the comments.
Happy Quilting!
Kris